Relationships

It’s easy to get obsessed with the idea of getting back with your ex after a painful breakup, it doesn’t matter if it was you or them that decided to end things, it’s still tough to put all the ‘what if’s’ out of your mind. Most people would do just about anything to be out of pain and get their ex back.  Many people want a quick fix and want to know how to get your ex back in 1 hour.  The truth is that it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be able to get your ex back so quickly.  What is very possible is that you can get your ex back if you’re willing to invest some time and effort first.

For the most part, it really doesn’t matter why the two of you broke up, there are some simple steps that have helped thousands reunite with their exes, and if you’re willing to follow them, they can help you too.  Just make sure that you have good intentions before you start down this path.  It’s not worth it to go to all the work to get back with your ex if the only reason you want them back is because they’ve started dating and you’re jealous. 

Here are the steps you should follow if you really want to have your ex back in your arms:

1.  The first thing you have to do is to figure out what went wrong the first time and what part you played in the drama.  Once you’ve established the mistakes you’ve made you have to ask yourself if you will be willing to put in some time to make changes so that you don’t do the same things the next time around.  If you’re not 100% ready to put in some effort and address these issues  you may as well forget it.  Even if you and your ex do get back together you’re just going to have the same problems again.

2.  Spend some time taking care of you.  A breakup can cause an enormous amount of stress on your body, take some time to concentrate on getting back in shape.  Hit the gym 3 – 5 times a week. Doing this will help you out by alleviating some of the stress you’ve been feeling and it will also help you feel more in control and better about yourself in general.  It’s also a good way to give yourself something other than your ex to concentrate on.

3.  Take a trip.  Make a point of going somewhere and doing something that you’ve never done but always wanted to.  This again, will help you clear your head, and live your life to the fullest instead of moping around and feeling sorry for yourself.  Another benefit is that your ex will likely hear about the trip and realize that you’re an interesting person who does interesting things which may be enough to have them calling you!  Even if they don’t call, you’ll have a great way to grow as a person and have some fun experiences ( and get your ex off your mind for at least a little while).

4. All of these steps have been building up to the big ‘reveal’, the time when you casually contact your ex and see if they’d like to get together and catch up. The important thing here is to remember that this has to be a casual easy going invitation.  You cannot make it sound like the two of you are sitting down for some ultra serious ‘let’s get back together’ talk.  If you do, more than likely your ex will say no thanks.

To get an ex back you may have to learn how to be sneaky. Getting back together with you may be the last thing on their mind but it is at the forefront of yours. You will have to learn to be more covert in how you interact with this person so they don’t know what you are up to.

Trying to figure out how to get back an ex is something that many people try to do who weren’t ready for the relationship or marriage to end. Any divorce or break up usually has one person that is still hanging. It might be obvious to the person that wants to move on that you weren’t ready to and want to get an ex back.

Do things that make is look like you are ready to move on and that you aren’t trying to get an ex back. Have fun. Go out with friends and have a blast. Don’t try and rub their nose in it. Be obvious to their friends, though, that you are going out and having fun. Word will get back to them that you are back and if you are moving forward faster than what they are, it might bother them.

When the two of you do talk, don’t fill their head with all these things that you are doing. Just let them know that you are happy. It will be easy to try and make them feel jealous. This may happen anyway. Try and make it seem like their life is worth being happy about as well. It may not seem like it but this will go a long way in trying to get back an ex. You are trying to make them feel like a more stable and independent person and that is a quality that most people are drawn to.

Give it some time. You may think about them every day but you don’t need to let them know about that for a while. It may be too obvious that you are only interested in trying to get an ex back. Wait a couple weeks and then call them up or send them a message asking how things are going. Sound as much like an old friend as you can. Think about how old friends have tried to get back in touch with you and do the same thing.

When/if they start talking, just let them talk. They will be more likely to be drawn to someone who values what they have to say and that may be a huge difference from the way things may have been. You may need them but let them get to a point where they value having you because you will listen to them. You may find them needing you and trying to get an ex back.

After you have been able to keep this up and re-develop a friendship they may want to get back together with you. While you may consider yourself pursuing them, you may find yourself being pursued. It is very likely, though, that you won’t have to make the first move. It could be they would rather do it themselves. The best way to get an ex back is to have them wanting to get you back.

If you are trying to get woman back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get woman back.

Here’s what you need to do to get woman back:
1)    Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.
2)    Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don’t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn’t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.
3)    Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get woman back.
4)    Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn’t. The only person’s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You’re selling and you’re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.
5)    Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well.  She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.
6)    Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?
7)    Don’t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn’t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. You need more than words.
8)    Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can’t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get woman back.